America

"Let us be lovers, we'll marry our fortunes together
I've got some real estate here in my bag"
So we bought a pack of cigarettes and Mrs. Wagner pies
And walked off to look for America

"Kathy," I said as we boarded a Greyhound in Pittsburgh
"Michigan seems like a dream to me now"
It took me four days to hitchhike from Saginaw
I've come to look for America

Laughing on the bus
Playing games with the faces
She said the man in the gabardine suit was a spy
I said "Be careful, his bowtie is really a camera"

"Toss me a cigarette, I think there's one in my raincoat"
"We smoked the last one an hour ago"
So I looked at the scenery, she read her magazine
And the moon rose over an open field

"Kathy, I'm lost," I said, though I knew she was sleeping
"I'm empty and aching and I don't know why"
Counting the cars on the New Jersey Turnpike
They've all come to look for America
All come to look for America
All come to look for America

~ Bookends, Simon and Garfunkel

...and here I am..

..back after a brief literary hiatus,which,far from being a typical R&R break, was,in fact, action-packed.

My life has changed in several ways in a short span of 2 weeks - I've got my passport..and what an ordeal that was!(I had planned to write a post abt the frustrating Indian 'system' but it's seriously not funny anymore!), I learnt to drive(YAY!!),my relocation plans are crystallizing,wedding preparations have gathered momentum,I'm moving back to my grandma's,there's another big thing I've done and on the whole,I've broadened my horizons.

I'm open to changes and challenges like never before, and it feels good - to step out of the comfort zone.

One should do it more often,methinks!

Cheers to Life!!

PS : De-stressing is still on the agenda because I'm still exhausted and stressed - mind,body and soul!

A Little Introspection

When a couple of colleagues took one look at my notepad and immediately declared that I was highly stressed - and a msn stress test - jolted me out of a sort of semi-daze I've been in for the past couple of months.

To be semi-dazed for a couple of months is bad enough,but to not even be aware of it is worse!

I seem to be totally messed up right now ,what with a couple of big decisions to make on the job front,co-ordinating work with all the other auxiliary tasks, planning the wedding,closing down the house- phew!

Not being able to sleep at night,being irritable and doodling furiously(making virtual jalebis for Mandar's wedding!) seem to be a few of the manifestations of the stress I'm experiencing.

Another aggravating factor is the inter-dependence of things,the general inertia of the system and being in the limbo state for the longest time after a teensy bit of progress.

And the semi-daze seems to be my internal coping mechanism - just to let things blur when they are out of my control - which can spell disaster.

But strangely enough, things never seem blur to the extent that I don't care about them anymore- just enough to keep the anger and frustration as background processes.

That way I conveniently don't realize how much energy I'm spending on those emotions but have to face the fatigue and low-energy drive.

Lesson Learnt : Just being aware of the fact that you're stressed can cause more stress.

To Do : De-Stress ASAP.

One Equal Music

.. And into that gate they shall enter,
and in that house they shall dwell,
where there will be no cloud nor sun,
no darkness nor dazzling,
but one equal light,
no noise nor silence,
but one equal music,
no fears nor hopes,
but one equal possession,
no foes nor friends,
but one equal communion and identity,
no ends nor beginnings,
but one equal eternity..

~John Donne